162 “The Prophet Hosea: God’s Alternative to Divorce for the Reason of Infidelity,” Journal of Psychology and Theology, Summer 1979, p. 133-34. There are several factors that deserve discussion before the method of “arbitrary choosing” is taken. What he hates is obviously not the putting away, because he is the one who does it. So...a little male perspective. What happens when a husband begins to assault his wife with punches or lashes out verbally calling her names and belittling her on a regular basis? Only reason it ended was because I found their texts. Unfortunately, we live in a sin sick world and there are men and women who are in marriages where vows are broken on a consistent if not daily basis. I pray for God's wisdom and guidance upon you in the days to come. 18:20-22).184 For God’s prophet to have advised immorality in God’s name and not have been corrected by God is difficult to accept. Oh after a few years he and the lady stopped talking, but the verbal abuse continued. But i am trying to do research for myself on the matter. When a spouse has sexual intercourse with someone outside of the marriage that knowingly interferes with the marriage, he or she is said to have committed adultery. Adultery is often seen as cause for divorce and likely will lead to an unfavorable outcome in family courtfor the spouse who has committed adultery. Every marriage requires hearts ready to forgive. After agreeing to give our marriage a second chance, he still lying and doing all the things I mentioned above. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery” ().Jesus, in the Sermon on the Mount, tells us that God wants not only right actions, but also a pure heart ().Refraining from murder and adultery does not exhaust those particular … John Walton, of Wheaton College, has pointed out to me that the Hebrew that stands for “that one” is used of Abraham in Isa. While it is true that the divorce writ in that instance is for the protection of a treacherously divorced woman, and an adulteress like Gomer would not deserve such protection, it may be assumed that, in the face of inoperative execution laws, the righteous husband, himself deserved the writ to insure that he would not be held legally responsible for the debts of an adulterous wife. If those are the terms of marriage, we are stuck why get married in other words. I'm so happy and praise God that he has opened my eyes and has set me free of this bondage. Some commentators contend that it should not be so applied. Personally I favor this translation. 18. You can read my disclosure policy here. I tried for years to get him to get help with me but he never would. The verse in Isaiah that Anderson has in mind reads: Thus says the Lord, “Where is the certificate of divorce, By which I have sent your mother away? I hope and pray you come through. For the woman who is emotionally abused or physically abused, telling her that she is never to deny her husband of his sexual pleasure is heartless. God has given us 34 years together and blessed us beyond what I could have ever hoped for. 24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they … Exodus 20:14. The restoration is from “slave-concubinage.” This return to the structural language adds little to argument 1. The teaching of the rabbis in the time of our Lord on the question of the marriage he was exceedingly lax, and tended to grave immorality in … Prior to reading this I was holding on to the hope that my husband would come home after being gone a year, I felt I had to stay because I vowed to the end I felt I was being disloyal for thinking of go on. 154 Supportive here are a number of verses that speak of God as a “jealous God”: Exod. I'm currently awaiting a divorce that my abusive husband actually filed for after I tried to get help. I have no doubt now about my path. Because he was in seminary to be a pastor, I tried to be the best wife I could be, hoping he would be kind and faithful. The Hebrew there employs the terms of factual negation (10), which rules out the existence of the condition under discussion (i.e., marriage).178 Hosea is saying that he no longer considers Gomer to be “his” (possessive suffix) “woman” or “wife” (standard term for a full partner). I’m pursuing a divorce and legal settlement. Each time I reminded them that they should read that whole passage, Malachi 2:11-16. Wright reveals to readers why and how statistics are distorted, and shows that God is still effectively working through his people today. I'm still on the fence about it though, there's no definitive answer, and this is the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my life. Small argues that an assumption of a second marriage on the part of commentators is hasty, and if true, would preclude remarriage to Hosea. Twenty years ago, I was a SAHM with two preschool aged children nn, praying to God for guidance. Thank you for writing this. Finally, we note that semantic confusion is once again possible in these verses because some translators have chosen to speak of the treacherously divorced woman as a companion and covenant partner, in spite of the clear fact of prior divorce. Read full chapter. She showed me many of the passages you refer to. He knows your pain and he knows your heartache. Long story short I felt he was emotionally abusive. 2:4 is the declaration embodied in the bill of divorce Isaiah 50-1 contains another tradition it implies that there never was a divorce.160. One possibility is that the text is employing a figure of speech (i.e., heterosis), where sense of the English present tense is employed, though the severance is complete, to emphasize the offense to the legal covenant then sundered and past. I am so thankful my three children from my first marriage have a step-father who loves them and who takes care of them and who teaches them about God. God hates all such treachery, and He has made provision for the women in such case: remarriage, preferably to the offender, who comes to his senses as a result of the oracle of the Lord, but to another man if he does not. The part where you said God knows brought me to tears. Vaishu, I am so sorry you have struggled with shame and guilt. I know my husband doesn't love me. And what is that position? When I finally snaped out of this nonsense thinking, I wonder...how did I let a mere man make me feel so badly of myself and I would never want any, nor allow anyone to treat my 3 daughters this way. So too the question as to whether “she” was divorced is to be answered “Yes.” The omission of the word “certificate of divorce” in the “answer” section should not be a problem. After a long battle, I finally asked him to leave (with the help and support of my wonderful parents). I belived it because that was what was drilled into my head day and night , and that I am not submissive like God wants me to be. Contrariwise it would be most irregular for a wife to be able to sell herself into slavery, and clearly immoral/illegal for her to do so if it involved concubinage. God will forgive the situation and you can move on will a free conscience. I spent some time honestly angry with God because I had done my part as far as being a Godly wife and prayed for a long time that my husband would change. Hosea prophesied to the Northern Kingdom about thirty years (750 B.C.) I know it's a hard, hard time for you right now, but He will keep you strong. Truth and grace shared with such compassion here. Thank you so much for this well-written post. He hasn't spoke of it since, no counseling. On this view the passage does not say “I am God, I hate divorce”. Certainly not! 183 There is some doubt as to the exact relation in time of the “separation” in Ezra 9 and 10 to that spoken of in Neh. I can't really say whether you are wrong or not because I only know part of the story and it's not my place to make a judgement. Fourth, the Hebrew “perfect” (i.e., completed action) is as close to the English “past” as one could expect. God stands ready to save. For years I felt neglected by my husband. In most cases, both the husband and wife can be reconciled and the marriage saved even after adultery. I'm a pastor's wife and homeschooling mom living in the beautiful Appalachian Mountains of Southeastern KY. Your words are a balm of understanding. Small argues that Deut. Now my question is what am I suppose to do. Found insideThe passages in this collection are divided into four chapters which document the chronological development of Augustine's sexual ethic. What usually stops me is the question of, "Am I just taking the easy way out", or "is what my husband did/or does really that bad". Abusers abuse because they are abusers, not because their targets have wronged them. Abuse comes in many forms - not just hands on. And the rejection by the husband of the wife involves a legal writ. God doesn't dig our past up over and over again to remind us or punish us! Ellie. No one should live in terror. But I say, do not make any vows! Other articles get very close and hold a ton of good information along this brave wavelength of truth ...but you have written it in a way that is perfectly succinct, clear, tender, courageous and beautiful. Would the Hebrew law allow two sexual covenants for the same woman at the same time? Hi Angela, I'm so sorry you are going through this is emotionally trying time. What if the statue of limitations of pretty much gone. We didn’t have kids together and my family is small and at the time no one had kids. I finally decided in my heart, its time to go, the children were suffering tremendously and he started on them too. But Judah needs (will need) to acknowledge their guilt and admit to their plight. God bless you! I haven't lived in that area for years now, but the place I thought about doing it is burned into my mind. There is nothing in Hosea which is incompatibly with Jeremiah’s representation of God’s divorce with a writ of the Northern Kingdom. 21). 5:32. He threatens the Southern Kingdom with the same treatment if they fail to be faithful. I have been in an abusive relationship since i was 16.. now 26, at times physical but mostly mentally and verbally. Its a bad situation but praying and focusing on getting the help I need to get out. Or, to be more precise, the problem is that, in establishing legal marital relations with the women of the land, they had broken their “marriage” covenant with God. He's not physical just very verbal and manipulative. He is joined in this conclusion by D.H. Small,162 who cites Westerman’s translation: “Where then is the bill of divorce with which I am supposed to have put your mother away?”163 Thus Anderson and Small simply counter Jeremiah with Isaiah and choose the one which agrees with their view of what must have transpired in the life of Hosea. I have gone on for 16 years thinking this was true. Dr. Rocky Ramsey teaches us what the Bible has to say about divorce, remarriage, and adultery from Wednesday April 4th, 2018.Thank you for watching! Right now I want so badly for the marriage to work out but feel that my soul has been crushed with the weight of the issues between us and feeling like I am some how betraying God for thinking divorce is an option. Laney and others break this hermeneutical rule by presuming discontinuity.190 In short, intentional interfaith marriage yields just as spiritually damaging consequences in the believer’s life today as in Old Testament times. First, it is clear that the prophet thought it was consonant with revealed truth. Melissa, A spouse caught in adultery was stoned to death. This is all rather straightforward and apropos. Since that law does not apply to him, it is non sequitur to introduce it as argument as to why we cannot interpret Hosea as having divorced Gomer. Through that church, I have found meaningful connection with other believers. Freedom from perfection. He cannot because it would go against who He is. This isnt the first time this has came up in our marriage. Who is he to stalk you? Oh, Christi, I wish I could give you a hug. He was verbally and mentally abusive or entire marriage. I feel confused now because I have been in a relationship since our separation / divorce. Why do I have to endure this through the rest of my life? 4 (December 1987), pp 603-611. Cindy, I'm so sorry you're going through this. To the choirmaster. Don’t use your strength to hurt your wife and kids but to protect them. I completely agree! Thank you for this, and for sharing from your own story. It is far preferable simply to refer the matter to the practice of marriage/divorce in the days of Hosea and see the oracle as using these practices to speak of how God now intends to relate to Israel. Maybe I can make more sense later, ha ha! Not because it is the easy way out, but because you have battled an impossible situation, that has no end in site, and are just done. When asked about grounds for divorce in the time of Moses, Jesus said, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. 120 ff. God bless you! I am with you on the journey. The presentation of Israel as the betrothed or bride of Yahweh does not arise until the times of apostasy just prior to the deportation of the Northern Kingdom.151 Nonetheless, in reading the prophetic writings, we are clearly made aware that God has understood his relationship to Israel in those terms. God is good! I pray you find peace and joy in the days to come! It's time to forgive yourself. According to Deuteronomy 24, if she is legally divorced, she is free to remarry. When I left him I was a robot and still to this day if there is conflict or yelling, I shut down. The fact that the text does say that she is an “adulteress” complicates this analysis, but does not ultimately defeat it. This comprehensive survey introduces students to the theological emphases of the entire Old Testament, from Genesis through Malachi. They are not simply Israel. 203 I do not mean by this that the divorce ends moral obligation to repent and reconcile But the moral obligation that requires the guilty to repent rests, not in the covenant of marriage itself, but in the deeper obligations of morality at large-for the Israelite, stated in the Mosaic Law. 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